Happy Quitter’s Day!  January 12 has been identified in studies to be the day when most of us have either forgotten or abandoned the resolutions we made 12 days earlier.

Have you made New Year’s resolutions year after year only to find that they disappear into thin air by the end of January?

This has been my pattern forever, and this year I RESOLVE to break it!

OK, good things have happened in my life, and I’m eternally grateful for them, but most of the time I have no idea how I got there. I put my mind to things, yes, but this intention seems to be in the back of my mind...I say things like “I should do some yoga today” or “I should stop eating so much chocolate”. It’s like a gentle reminder, but it’s NOT an order and it’s NOT something that my subconscious is programmed to do!

This year, I started researching 'goal-setting for women' in the hazy days between Christmas and New Year. I have some things I'd like to accomplish in 2019, and I'm serious too, because we aren't getting any younger, and the years are flying by. Is anyone else considering a career change or semi-retirement? That's where I'm headed, and I feel that it's IMPERATIVE to take hold of the situation and make some short and long-term goals to guide me on my way - instead of just waiting for things to happen and hoping for the best! Are you with me?

The research was really interesting and very helpful. For example, about 49% of everyone who makes New Year’s resolutions abandons them by mid January. So we’re not alone.

Also, women approach goal-setting differently than men. We don’t set a target and go after it the way men do - our brains just aren’t wired that way. Instead, we’re more likely to stay motivated to pursue a goal if there is an emotion attached to it - a positive emotion like joy or love or pride in accomplishment.

On the other hand, barriers  that women experience when attempting to set and achieve goals are perfectionism and fear of failing, juggling too many responsibilities, and guilt about taking time for themselves. See more in this great article by Allison Foskett.

I've condensed what I learned and put it all together for you in a step-wise plan to create achievable goals with a sure-fire method to make them into reality. This is a 5 day plan, so start with Day 1 and work through at your own pace.

I've been practicing it since January 1 and, honestly (!), feel more in touch with what I want and how I'm going to get it than ever before. I hope the same for you!

DAY 1: FREE-WRITE

Grab a notebook or pile of blank sheets and start writing. List 50 of your new year wants, needs and desires. Just write down whatever comes into your head - in all categories of your life (work, family, travel, relationships, money, health, community and charity….whatever! - get it all down on paper). Got more than 50? Just keep writing.

Why? This is a brainstorming session. It’ll help you identify the big picture, who you want to be in the long term, and shorter, more pressing wants and needs that you may want to prioritize for working on now.

Brainstorming forces you to take all of your jumbled wants and needs out of your head and get them down on paper, clarifying them, and making it easy and even necessary for you then to prioritize them and rearrange them in order of importance - even urgency.

Plus - getting your wants down on paper makes them real, tells your subconscious mind that you’re serious about wanting this thing, and needs its full attention.

DAY 2: PRIORITIZE

Now that you have every last one of your heart’s desires written down on paper, it should be easy to pull out the most important ones - the ones you want to work on NOW. Decide on your top 3 to 5 pressing wants, needs or desires. You may not get to all 5 of them, so make sure you put your number one priority at the top of the list. This is the one you’ll work on first.

To ensure success - we’ll only be working on one goal at a time. The days of multi-tasking are over!

Take your number one want/need/desire and write it in block letters on a new sheet. Then list the reasons it's so important to you. Your WHY.

DAY 3: MAKE THOSE VAGUE “WANTS” INTO SMART GOALS

• Make it specific - exactly what is it?

• Make it realistic - is it do-able?

• Make it measurable - how much will change?

• Make it relevant - be sure YOU want it (ie it’s not someone else’s idea of what you need)

• Give it a deadline - by what date?

Fluff it up: make it exciting and make it flexible to account for setbacks

Template: I will do (how much) of (exactly what) by (when) and this is how: (your plan goes here).

Design your plan, the actions you will take to attain your goal. Be as specific as you can. Remember, small steps mean success . So design your plan in small, do-able chunks.

EXAMPLE OF A SMART GOAL (sharing one of my personal ones!)

I want to limit alcohol consumption in 2019.

Why? For brain health, cancer prevention, and weight control.

How much of what by when?

Starting immediately, I will have no more than 2 glasses of wine with dinner on Fridays and Saturdays only.

My plan

I will change into exercise gear directly after work and go out for a power walk or run. I will have plenty of sparkling water and lemons on hand to substitute for that “reward drink” for finishing a stressful day. I will then begin to prepare my healthy dinner so I’m not hungry and wanting to snack.

I will evaluate my success every Sunday evening and reset my plan as necessary.

OK! Now it's your turn!

DAY 4: AFFIRM, VISUALIZE, FEEL, and REPEAT

So, you’ve set your priorities and made a few of them into SMART goals. Perfect. Now to prevent the dreaded loss of motivation...

Here’s how to keep your goal fresh in your mind, and especially in your subconscious mind, where 95% of your brain-work is done.

• Create one or two affirmations - positive statements - that reflect the kind of person you’ll be when you achieve your goal.

For example: Mine is  “I am a person who doesn’t drink alcohol during the week.”

Other more general affirmations could be: Success flows through me because I am open to it. I am in love with the partner of my dreams. I love my life. Etc.

These are wonderful positive affirmations but when it comes to making your goal stick - your new affirmation should be specific to the goal, as though you have already achieved it. Try it … “I am ( insert your new identity).”

Yes, you must change your identity to ensure success! You’ll literally become a different person when you achieve your goal. In my case, I WILL be a successful independent business woman who does NOT drink alcohol during the week. Who will you be?

Note: Louise Hay was a motivational author and speaker who wrote books of affirmations and firmly believed that our thoughts create our reality. See her website for more on the power of positive affirmation.

• Repeat your affirmations at least twice a day. Re-read your goal and state your affirmations morning and night, and any other time that you think about it. Again, you’re reminding your subconscious mind that this goal is very important to you and needs its full attention. And repetition has been shown to effect behaviour change. Repeat, repeat, repeat to make your goals stick.

To help you get into the habit of daily positive affirmations, check out this wonderful 10-minute guided meditation by Michael Sealey. It’s one of my favourites - I do it almost every day. It covers the gamut of all the positive thoughts you can imagine, and with beautiful meditative music to boot.

• While you’re stating your affirmations, visualize the outcome. SEE yourself being the new identity you seek, and doing the things your new self will be doing. Form a clear mental image of success. Countless studies have shown that using the power of the imagination can help your goals become reality.

For example, if you want to run a marathon, affirm “I am a marathon runner” and see yourself crossing the finish line, hear the crowds clapping and cheering you through the gate.

For more info, see this great article on the Power of Visualization.

• Finally - and this is where we women differ from our male friends - we must add emotion to our affirmations and visualizations. So - as you're affirming and visualizing - do your best to meditate on how fantastic it will feel to be the new you. How proud you’ll be, how excited you’ll feel, and how happy. Feel it in your heart. As though you’ve achieved your goal, however big or small, and it feels AH-MAZING!

Prove to yourself that you can be this new person - do it with small wins on a day-to-day or week-by-week basis. Be sure to celebrate those small wins, too. It's important to acknowledge your successes to stay motivated.

Keep an eye on your target, your endgame, but stay in the moment and enjoy the process.

DAY 5: HARNESS THE POWER OF YOUR THIRD CHAKRA ENERGY CENTRE

Supercharge your passion and commitment by strengthening your Third Chakra. This is Energy Medicine, everybody, and I am a believer!

According to Kundalini Yoga philosophy, our Third Chakra (or solar plexus energy centre) - located in the upper abdomen between the tip of the sternum and the navel - is the seat of our personal power, our identity as a human being, and of ambition, commitment and fearlessness.

If we're setting goals for a new year of change, and we're serious about making them a reality, then strong, balanced third chakra energy is a MUST. A person with strong third chakra energy has an innate confidence, loads of will power, and isn't afraid to go after what she wants in her life.

In his 2001 book Meditation as Medicine, Dr. Dharma Singh Khalsa (anaesthetist, pain specialist and Alzheimer's researcher) recommends the following 11-minute Meditation for the Third Chakra:

• Tune in by chanting "Ong Namo, Guru Dev Namo" 3 times.

• Sit up straight in a chair or cross-legged on the floor

• Close your eyes and focus on the tip of your nose

• Mantra: 'Hummee Hum, Brahm Hum' using the tip of your tongue. This powerful spiritual mantra means 'we are we, we are one' and that we already ARE everything we need to be.

• Bend your elbows and bring your hands to prayer pose, pressing your palms together and your thumbs into your breast bone.

• Begin chanting 'Hummee Hum, Brahm Hum' and press your palms together and pull your navel in with each exhaled chant.

• You can sing along with a recording if you wish. Makes it fun and easy! Try this one

After 11 minutes, inhale and hold the breath, pull in your navel, press your tongue against the roof of your mouth, and hold for 15 seconds. Exhale forcefully.

Repeat 2 more times.

You're done. Sit for a minute and feel the energy it has created in your solar plexus. Your goal is within reach!

Add this short but powerful 11 minutes to your morning and evening routine of affirmation, visualization, and feeling the positive emotion of your goal .

You can also do a few abdominal strengthening yoga postures such as boat pose and bow pose or a core workout at the gym to add even more power to your solar plexus energy.

When functioning at its peak, the Third Chakra provides 'the will of a spiritual warrior' - Yogi Bhajan

Go, now, and make your dreams come true!

Namaste.