"I follow all of the latest self care recommendations. Why isn’t my hard work working?"

Sound familiar? Many of my patients complain that they don’t get satisfactory results from the time and effort they put into dieting and exercise. Or meditation and yoga. Or whatever.

They’re still flabby, fatigued, and stressed out, they say.

The plan they’re following may come from the internet, from friends or family, or from someone they’ve seen on television. General recommendations I’m sure you’ve seen and heard.

Eat healthy! Exercise often! Meditate every day! Have a massage! And the list goes on with a dizzying number of options for each area.

You may have tried a Paleo diet and Cross-fit at a gym. Or going gluten-free while spinning three times a week. Or yoga, walking and a vegetarian diet. Or any number of combinations of things you somehow manage to fit into your busy week.

But still you find there are no big changes in how you look and feel. You aren’t getting the results you want.

Have you had the feeling that what you were doing didn’t suit you, so you weren’t motivated to continue? Were you doing something you downright loathed, even? If so, you were set up to fail from the get-go.

And here’s why…

You are 100% unique!

Like a snowflake, there is only one you.

You were born with a one-of-a-kind genetic blueprint and temperament, both of which were molded and shaped by the social environment you grew up in, and your nutrition, lifestyle and toxic exposures over time.

You are biochemically unique. That means that your genes dictate your individual nutritional needs and the way your body responds to exercise and your environment.

And, your personality is original. You were born with a certain temperament – calm, placid and happy, for example, or hyper-alert, nervous, and fussy. Or somewhere in between.

Dr Roger Williams, PhD, who introduced the concept of biochemical individuality in 1956, said...

"We are all as unique as our fingerprints."

Over your lifetime, you adapted to your temperament, based on your home environment, family, friends and education, to become the person you are today. No one else has your temperament and your life experience.

So, the general recommendations you read or hear about, though well researched and very sensible, may only partly work for you…or not at all. This can be very frustrating!

But, not to worry…you can still tweak those ideas to get the results you want.

3 ways to personalize your self care routine 

Listen to your body

Keep a running assessment of your physical reactions to foods and eating routines. Which foods make you feel good – light and energetic? Which ones upset you, give you heartburn or make you feel sluggish and sleepy?

The same goes for the different types of leisure activity and exercise you do, how you sleep, how you relax and de-stress.

If you’re not getting results from a particular program, and certainly if you’re not enjoying it, give it a miss and keep trying other options.  

A note here on the new field of Nutrigenomics, and the advertisements for testing you may have seen or been offered by various practitioners.

Nutrigenomics is the science of identifying a person’s genetic profile and its relationship to diet and disease. There are laboratories offering this kind of testing now, by saliva and/or urine samples.

The resulting report will have a list of certain genes that person carries and which nutrient deficiencies are likely. There are usually vitamin supplement recommendations attached. I have had patients ask about the value of having it done.

The latest report published as recently as February 2018 assessing the value of “Precision Nutrition”, as the new field will be called, states that there simply isn’t enough good research to support recommending these tests at this time. Although very promising for the future, much more study needs to be done.

“Metabolic Type” quizzes are widely available online and fun to do. The diets and exercise routines recommended may or may not work for you, but I see no harm in trying them. I’ve done the quiz myself! Type A, no surprise there.

Just remember, there are no guarantees. Yet. My advice is to skip the nutrigenomic testing for now, and focus on getting as much information as you can about yourself by good old trial and error.

My favourite resource for the latest on what to eat is Dr Mark Hyman, author of a number of books on functional medicine, nutrition and health. Find him at www.drhyman.com and read his articles for solid general nutrition recommendations.

Find out more about who you are 

How well do you really know yourself?  Sure, you know what feels good to you. Whether or not you enjoy a massage. Love Zumba. Deplore yoga. But, do you know why?
 
Why do you react to certain emotional triggers? Are you angry, cheerful, moody, quiet, shy, outgoing, a control freak? How does your character affect your ability to stick to a self care program and see results?

Some of these questions can be answered, I believe, by Dr Carl Jung’s theory of archetypes, which he saw as a path to self-knowledge and wholeness.

According to Jung, archetypes are character types that determine our behaviour, and have been present in the collective human consciousness since time began. Everyone is born with several dominant ones that we will carry throughout our lives, and which will affect our decision-making, our relationships, and our experience of this life journey.

When you hear of someone “playing the victim”, or described as a hero, an actor, a joker, a peacemaker, a wounded child, a diva, a crone…you immediately get a mental picture of their traits and characteristics. Those are archetypes. Now you get it!

Learning about your own archetypes can be really helpful in understanding yourself and your interactions with others. And also why you do well in some situations and not so well in others.

Caroline Myss - medical intuitive, modern mystic and awesome woman of our generation - writes extensively in her book Sacred Contracts about the concept of archetypes as patterns of power that determine our behaviour. I highly recommend the book and her website www.Myss.com, where you can start to discover your own archetypes in her Free Resources section.

As an example, I can tell you that I've recently discovered that I carry the Hermit archetype, among others, which was actually a huge relief to me. For years I’ve wondered why I’m so content at home alone, in solitude, working on this and that, doing my own thing. Couldn’t be happier, but thought there must be something terribly wrong with me. Nope! It’s who I am, so I can go ahead and forgive myself for ducking out of social engagements to come home and chill out. Whew.

Knowing yourself and what drives your behaviours can give you tremendous insight into what kinds of self care activities will really work well for you, that will be easy for you because you’ll enjoy doing them, and where you should spend your precious time and resources.

Work with an expert

If you’re not getting anywhere on your own, it may be helpful to work with someone trained to help you prioritize your needs based on your medical and family history, your preferences, and your past experience with various programs.

Sometimes a personal trainer or life coach, for example, can help you see gaps in your approach that you didn’t notice, and can plan a new program that will work better for you.

I've found that it's very helpful to do the "Wheel of Life" assessment. It can tell you at a glance where your body and soul need attention and save you lots of time when you're planning your precious self care hours. Try it! It just takes a few minutes to do and it's free.

Keep at it 

As the Nike people say, the important thing is to just do it.

Don't be discouraged and please don't give up!

If you’re not getting the results you want from general, cookie-cutter recommendations, my advice is to honour your uniqueness, and continually re-work your self care plan to get the most out of it - always considering your individual reactions and responses to it.

It might take a little extra work, but it will be so worth it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas, and any requests for special topics. Just leave a comment below. Thanks!